Saturday, May 22, 2010

A Beautiful Mind

Hi Everyone, Hope all is well. I am doing good. Last weekend on HBO I watched this movie again. Once again I was reminded of why my mother is my hero by having the strength to fight every day with her disease. The hardest part of watching this movie was the shock therapy scene and when he slit his wrist. I physically felt that pain again in my chest and I cried for her and everyone else who has endured that treatment. She endured that for twenty years, when all she really needed was a pill. I think she may have tried to commit suicide twice but I am not sure, I have a faint memory of her cutting her wrists. My brother Jim remembers everything so I will have to ask him. This is a remarkable true story of a man's battle with Schizophrenia. People with Bi Polar disorder also suffer hallucinations and hear voices. I think that is what my mother had because if she was truly Schizophrenic like they diagnosed her in the sixties I know Lithium would not have worked on her, never mind keep her out of institutions for the rest of her life. God I hated going into those locked doors when I would visit her. The shock therapy makes them forget so called "bad memories", it just fries the brain. When Christa was a year old I went to see her and I told her Christa started walking, she asked me who was Christa, hurt so bad. I saw her in her delusional states many, many times. One time for example I was living in Braintree with Pete when we first had Christa and she called me around 8 O'clock from the South Shore Plaza for a ride home. I went there and it was back in the day's when stores were closed on Sundays. She was standing there in the parking lot which was so dark all alone. She told me when she got in the car that she was there to meet someone with a special liquid to make money. She scared the hell out of me, but I kept cool as I always did and got her home safe. Of course after that night back in she went. This movie shows the struggles of all the loved ones who have to live with a person they love with Mental Illness. When Professor Nash's wife says she felt obligated I thought of my father and how hard that must have been on him to have to stay in a marriage because of that obligation with six children to care for and hold a full time job wow, another one of my hero's. I have software that I can copy movies I rent. So I did that with this one. If anyone wants a free copy just let me know. You will be moved in so many ways, tears, rejoice, hope, faith, pain and laughter along with watching two people with such deep love for each other. I will be more than glad to send you one in hopes that you will share the inspiration and hope this movie brings to everyone with a Mental Illness. Despite all the pain I went through growing up, seeing how she suffered made me only appreciate every day of my life that I was not suffering, not locked up. I am so glad that God gave me the strength to not get caught up in that poor me, look how she hurt and made all of our lives hell for a long time. Because in the end I saw her true self emerge like Professor Nash's did. It was a beautiful last twenty years with her. She also had an high IQ, she finished 2nd in her class. They say all the intelligence can lead to madness. So watch for someone you know who is a genius if you begin to see changes. I thought it would be good to delete my last post for certain reasons, but I wanted to share this song again for another reason :)
Thank you for visiting my blog,
now go rent the movie or ask me
for a free copy LOL!
Love ya,
Janet :)

Perhaps it's a good thing to have a beautiful mind
but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful
heart, This trailer gives me goosebumps :)

I wanna share my world with you, you see,
Springtime on the South Shore feels
so good to me :)

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