Saturday, July 31, 2010


Hi Everyone, Happy Saturday!! Hope your having a great weekend. I am. Tomorrow we are going to have a clambake with the whole family. Larry is finally going to meet his new great grandson :) I am so grateful today for Pete's Patience with me. As I do so with him as well. He gave me the time and space I needed to be sure of what I wanted. He loves me like no one I have ever known. He also had the Patience and intelligence to know that behaviors do not change right away for someone who is detoxing. So today I advocate for others like me, just remember Patience with them as they need time to work things out in their minds and body. They do not walk into a rehab and have instant sobriety. Patience is so much better to have with them at that time then to react to them in your usual ways. The Patience you have with them will only help lead to a better state of sobriety for them no matter how much you feel you need to correct their behavior. If they had a cancer on their body, would you hold them to the same standards or like most people do, remember have a little more compassion for them, a disease is a disease, is a disease! Taking time to think things out can help avoid regrets and judgements. And always remember you never will truly know what is going on with another person, especially at such a painful time as they have to face their demons that have been making their life a mess. Patience will lead to a much more peaceful way of life for you and others around you. Try it out and see how it makes a difference in your daily life.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love you,
Janet :)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Amusing Myself

Hi Everyone, How are ya? I'm good, but bored tonight, it's so quiet on the beach I think the vacationers went home and forget to take me with them!! So I thought I would share the way I amuse myself on days like this. I have grown to really appreciate Youtube. I remember when my brother got this album with George's 7 words and ran down the cellar to listen to it, he locked the door, thinking no one was around, but I stood outside the door to listen LOL! I hope it gives you a laugh if you are in the same boat as me.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

Classic George:)

So True!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

That's The Way It Is

Hi Everyone, How are ya, I'm doing good, I looked through my videos on Youtube and I thought I would share this inspirational one I made with all of you today. I can always use the inspiration myself. Off to spend the day with my boy,
Have a great day,
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya's,
Janet :)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Hello Everyone, Happy Saturday! I'm hoping for some sunshine today!! I wanted to get back on track with Anxiety Disorders. This one is hard for me to write about because I personally feel the root of my Anxiety Attacks stem from this, which thank God for modern medicine, I do not have to worry about anymore. I experienced a lot of traumatic events growing up with my mother. Two suicide attempts and many psychotic episodes. Not to place blame on her, she was sick and could not help herself, I have no anger towards her, only empathy and forgiveness along with great love, as you know from reading my blogs. It was when I was moved out of my childhood home and as they say felt in a "safe place" that the Panic Attacks came the surface, when Christa was about 2 yrs old. When I was in rehab one of the things they make you do just before you leave is write an "Honesty Paper" to share with everyone. That was tough because you have to tell your life's story out loud to everyone, which for someone like me and everyone in there that have been trying to keep that life story away with Alcohol just do not want to relive sober. But it's the first step in changing that old behavior. I know I started partying at an earlier age because of the trauma which led me to where I am today. I bought a book recently to read on Trauma and every time I've picked it up, I've just put it down. I guess I am not ready to "go there" as they say. The mind is kind and only gives you what you can handle for memories that are buried so deep down inside. I remembered writing that paper that one of the first memories of her was the police giving her a tranquilizer and then the ambulance taking her away. So this is helpful to me as well as I share this information with all of you. We have all experienced some form of this in our lifetime, so I hope this helps you or a loved one of yours. When I am ready to read that book on Trauma I will share some helpful information from that as well. Now on a lighter note, go have some fun today and don't behave!!
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened. Traumatic events that may trigger PTSD include, violent personal assaults, natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, or military combat. PTSD is an anxiety disorder that some people get after seeing or living through a dangerous event. When in danger, it’s natural to feel afraid. This fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to prepare to defend against the danger or to avoid it. This “fight-or-flight” response is a healthy reaction meant to protect a person from harm. But in PTSD, this reaction is changed or damaged. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they’re no longer in danger.

Signs & Symptoms

People with PTSD have persistent frightening thoughts and memories of their ordeal and feel emotionally numb, especially with people they were once close to. They may experience sleep problems, feel detached or numb, or be easily startled.

PTSD can cause many symptoms. These symptoms can be grouped into three categories:
1. Re-experiencing symptoms:
* Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
* Bad dreams
* Frightening thoughts
Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. They can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.

2. Avoidance symptoms:
* Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
* Feeling emotionally numb
* Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
* Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
* Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.

Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person to change his or her personal routine. For example, after a bad car accident, a person who usually drives may avoid driving or riding in a car.

3. Hyperarousal symptoms:
* Being easily startled
* Feeling tense or “on edge”
* Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.

Hyperarousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.

It’s natural to have some of these symptoms after a dangerous event. Sometimes people have very serious symptoms that go away after a few weeks. This is called acute stress disorder, or ASD. When the symptoms last more than a few weeks and become an ongoing problem, they might be PTSD. Some people with PTSD don’t show any symptoms for weeks or months.

How is PTSD treated?

The main treatments for people with PTSD are psychotherapy (“talk” therapy), medications, or both. Everyone is different, so a treatment that works for one person may not work for another. It is important for anyone with PTSD to be treated by a mental health care provider who is experienced with PTSD. Some people with PTSD need to try different treatments to find what works for their symptoms.

If someone with PTSD is going through an ongoing trauma, such as being in an abusive relationship, both of the problems need to be treated. Other ongoing problems can include panic disorder, depression, substance abuse, and feeling suicidal.

This video is for you Kimmy, and to
all my friends who have been so kind
with your support at this time when I
need it the most. Know I Got You Too:)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Balance The Waves

Hi Everyone, How are ya, I am doing good, I am all settled in my room and now I am just kicking back and relaxing for the day. The cable people actually came early for a change instead of later in the day, maybe my luck is taking a turn for the better!! Now if I could just catch that Dam Gatra bus. I had to walk from Kingston to Plymouth and half way back yesterday to go to the Doctors in the heat and humidity, sucked!! They are going by my window here every two seconds, so if you hear of a women that went off on the Gatra Bus System, ya it was me, I finally snapped!! The guy at my local Cumberland farms gave me a coupon for a free Ice Coffee and didn't charge me full price for Ice Coffees I got for me and Scotty because I think I was purple LOL!! So now that I am sitting here having the space and peace that I need to pull it together, I find myself having mood swings from happiness to deep pain for all I've done and all that has changed. They said it would be like this for us at WATC when you first get sober. Some day's you feel like your going crazy, but it will pass. And I am thankful that for the most part everyday I do feel upbeat and think positive. It was just when I had to leave Kingston yesterday it hurt so bad leaving Scotty, even though I have been gone already, he seems to not need me as much, and as a mother when that day comes it hurt's no matter how old they are. I should be happy he is so independent but I wish deep down he needed me a little more I guess. Then when Christa dropped me off she did not want to let me go, she kept saying "are you sure, I don't like this", I kept telling her I'm ok, it's alright! Being the sign of Balance as well, this Loving Kindness meditation fits right in with my life here by the Ocean. Balance the Waves my friends, sooner or later the tides will even out! I am surprised at how peaceful it was here last night, I only heard a little music playing next door and some teenagers at the Beach around 10pm, it almost got too quiet, felt lonely in a way, so I played this song for myself on my droid, having no TV and internet didn't help the loneliness either, so I thought I would share it with all of you who also have those Lonely OL' Nights. Speaking of waves, I think I will hit a couple of them myself today while I freshen up my tan!!
Have a great day,
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


Balance The Waves
Finding balance may at times feel like a struggle. Life is filled with extremes, some painful and others pleasurable. You might be grieving over the death of your beloved grandmother-and a few days later be surrounded by family and friends as you celebrate your birthday. How can we hold these two extremes without shutting down? The Buddha (which I personally love their teachings) said the greatest happiness is to know peace that is unchanged by changing conditions. With this inner stability you can ride the waves of contrasting emotions and experiences without losing your balance. The next time you're overwhelmed by the contrast of joy and pain in your life, simply say these phrases to yourself:

"May I ride the waves of pleasure and pain with ease"
"May I be peaceful and at ease"

It's possible to experience happiness in the midst of pain and sorrow. It's possible to be happy and sad at the same time. This is part of the balance of life, and practicing acceptance of this pleasure and pain dynamic helps us let go of our need to control our experiences. Accepting this duality is the birthplace of balance.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

A New Day Has Come

Hi Everyone, Happy Sunday, hope your doing well. I'm feeling great. Enjoyed a Beautiful Sunset walk on the Canal here on Cape Cod Ma last night. I got to have some time with my boy this weekend which always lifts my spirits, and I also find a lot of strength in his eyes and his unconditional love, he is so understanding about the fact I need to do what I need to do and that I will be with him as much as I can when I get my license and a car again. He is such a gentleman, opens doors for his Mom without being asked, I guess I did some things right in my life and his Dad was always good with teaching him manners. Today I walked up to Onset Center. I am loving this area right now. There was a biker yard sale on the way up, ya, now we're talking, these are my kind of people LMAO!!, but I didn't go to it, have no funds for that stuff and of course no bike. I got to sit on a bench under a shady tree on the beach and take in all it's beauty around me, as I sat listening to my music a butterfly flew around me, it was symbolic to me at that moment, the way I was feeling. They have Yoga classes in the center too and in WATC I got use to doing it a couple of times a week, it is so relaxing that one of the funny stories I have to share is during the end of yoga class I got so relaxed that I fell asleep, suddenly I felt Jessica tickling my feet, I thought I was being woken up for my first morning smoke break, but I jumped up and yelled out "Was I Snoring?" and everyone was just cracking up laughing because I was very loudly too, then I looked over at Christina and she was like quiet, the lady running the class didn't even notice LOL!, of course I get myself into my own trouble once again! No I didn't really she thought it was funny too. I think I got a job at a restaurant here in the center that I can walk too from the room I stopped by to check out that is right across the street from the Beach. I would have a waterfront view of the beach from my window. Every Saturday Night they have a light show, sweet. My son in law stayed there once and he said the sunrises and sunsets are awesome, he got up early every morning just to see the sunrise, don't know if I'll be able to do that myself, I have been having a hard time sleeping at night thinking of what I need to do, so many things on my plate, but it is what it is and I have no one to blame but myself. It is an affordable room in an older house run my a very elderly man who seems sweet enough. I will take any place and any job at this point I have no room for pride, need my own space to clear my head and get it screwed back on straight. Wouldn't you know it too that when I stopped in the restaurant to apply for a job a women named Angel ran out from back and asked me if I wouldn't mind working in the back and I said I will work anywhere, but it was funny to me that her name is Angel, I showed her my necklace and told her how much I liked her name, we hit it off right away. She is sick of working with young kids who don't have a clue of what they are doing. It also strengthens my belief that Angels are all around me in more ways than one. I located my WTf book and I will update that section this week, it's in Kingston and I have to go there on Wednesday for a Doctor's appointment so I'll get it then, so bear with me. It bugs me when I can't update like I want to, I like to keep things on my blogs as fresh and as new as I can. I will get back on track too with some info on Mental Illness and the latest updates. As a writer I sit here and what comes to me to share for the day just comes, I know all of you who write understand. Now off to make dinner and get to a meeting to collect my 30 day chip. Goal for the day today, Pat myself on the back for what I have already accomplished.
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Love ya's,
Janet :)

This song has so many meanings to me
today, it is beautiful, Enjoy :)