Thursday, September 30, 2010

Social Phobia (Social Anxiety Disorder)

Hi Everyone, How are ya, I wanted to share this form of Anxiety Disorder with all of you. This was part of my Anxiety Disorder too. I can remember when it first came on how difficult it could be just to sit through a dinner with friends or family. Silly as it may sound to some people who have never experienced any form of Anxiety, it is real and it can be difficult to live with. Maybe once in a very blue moon I may feel this again in a social situation, but thanks to my medicine I pretty much never feel this way and it is such a welcomed relief. If you or someone you notice may be experiencing this as well, know it is very treatable and you can get back into the social part of your life without the suffering. I personally recommend some form of meditation too be it a full meditation or just taking a little time each day or before a social situation to just find a quiet place, listen to music or do what works for you to calm your mind. I also find that since I have been walking just about everyday the thought of even becoming anxious in a social situation is non existent!!, simply put, walking does the mind and body good in so many ways :)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


Anonymous Person On NAMI says,
“In any social situation, I felt fear. I would be anxious before I even left the house, and it would escalate as I got closer to a college class, a party, or whatever. I would feel sick in my stomach-it almost felt like I had the flu. My heart would pound, my palms would get sweaty, and I would get this feeling of being removed from myself and from everybody else.”

“When I would walk into a room full of people, I’d turn red and it would feel like everybody’s eyes were on me. I was embarrassed to stand off in a corner by myself, but I couldn’t think of anything to say to anybody. It was humiliating. I felt so clumsy, I couldn’t wait to get out.”

Social phobia, also called social anxiety disorder, is diagnosed when people become overwhelmingly anxious and excessively self-conscious in everyday social situations. People with social phobia have an intense, persistent, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others and of doing things that will embarrass them. They can worry for days or weeks before a dreaded situation. This fear may become so severe that it interferes with work, school, and other ordinary activities, and can make it hard to make and keep friends.

While many people with social phobia realize that their fears about being with people are excessive or unreasonable, they are unable to overcome them. Even if they manage to confront their fears and be around others, they are usually very anxious beforehand, are intensely uncomfortable throughout the encounter, and worry about how they were judged for hours afterward.

Social phobia can be limited to one situation (such as talking to people, eating or drinking, or writing on a blackboard in front of others) or may be so broad (such as in generalized social phobia) that the person experiences anxiety around almost anyone other than the family.

Physical symptoms that often accompany social phobia include blushing, profuse sweating, trembling, nausea, and difficulty talking. When these symptoms occur, people with social phobia feel as though all eyes are focused on them.

Social phobia affects about 15 million American adults. Women and men are equally likely to develop the disorder, which usually begins in childhood or early adolescence. There is some evidence that genetic factors are involved. Social phobia is often accompanied by other anxiety disorders or depression,and substance abuse may develop if people try to self-medicate their anxiety.

How to Get Help for Anxiety Disorders

If you think you have an anxiety disorder, the first person you should see is your family doctor. A physician can determine whether the symptoms that alarm you are due to an anxiety disorder, another medical condition, or both.

If an anxiety disorder is diagnosed, the next step is usually seeing a mental health professional. The practitioners who are most helpful with anxiety disorders are those who have training in cognitive-behavioral therapy and/or behavioral therapy, and who are open to using medication if it is needed.

You should feel comfortable talking with the mental health professional you choose. If you do not, you should seek help elsewhere. Once you find a mental health professional with whom you are comfortable, the two of you should work as a team and make a plan to treat your anxiety disorder together.

Remember that once you start on medication, it is important not to stop taking it abruptly. Certain drugs must be tapered off under the supervision of a doctor or bad reactions can occur. Make sure you talk to the doctor who prescribed your medication before you stop taking it. If you are having trouble with side effects, it’s possible that they can be eliminated by adjusting how much medication you take and when you take it.

Most insurance plans, including health maintenance organizations (HMOs), will cover treatment for anxiety disorders. Check with your insurance company and find out. If you don’t have insurance, the Health and Human Services division of your county government may offer mental health care at a public mental health center that charges people according to how much they are able to pay. If you are on public assistance, you may be able to get care through your state Medicaid plan.

Ways to Make Treatment More Effective

Many people with anxiety disorders benefit from joining a self-help or support group and sharing their problems and achievements with others. Internet chat rooms can also be useful in this regard, but any advice received over the Internet should be used with caution, as Internet acquaintances have usually never seen each other and false identities are common. Talking with a trusted friend or member of the clergy can also provide support, but it is not a substitute for care from a mental health professional.

Stress management techniques and meditation can help people with anxiety disorders calm themselves and may enhance the effects of therapy. There is preliminary evidence that aerobic exercise may have a calming effect. Since caffeine, certain illicit drugs, and even some over-the-counter cold medications can aggravate the symptoms of anxiety disorders, they should be avoided. Check with your physician or pharmacist before taking any additional medications.

The family is very important in the recovery of a person with an anxiety disorder. Ideally, the family should be supportive but not help perpetuate their loved one’s symptoms. Family members should not trivialize the disorder or demand improvement without treatment. If your family is doing either of these things, you may want to show them this booklet so they can become educated allies and help you succeed in therapy.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Music Monday Edited

Hi Everyone, How are you this Monday morning? I am doing great. These kids are not the typical groups I listen to, so don't mind the tattoos and piercings. Piercing on the face and especially on the tongue, GAWD! how it gives me the willies LOL!, I don't think you should mess with your face that way, no offense to anyone, just my own personal opinion. I like the words and sound to this song, and that is what is most important to me. This is how I'm feeling this Monday morning after celebrating my Wedding Anniversary with my hubby this weekend, although I don't need an Anniversary to feel this way about him, now that the kids are grown, it's been fun getting back to us, it's like we just started dating again. The fact that after 27yrs we still have such chemistry together, and he has been my one and only all these years, makes me even hotter for him now!! Uh wait a minute, what's that I hear? Come my lady, come come my lady, well guess I gotta go, LMAO!! Just teasing of course:)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

So sexy..almost evil Talkin' bout butterflies in my head
I used to think happy endings were only in the books I
read but you made me feel alive when I was almost dead

Lyrics | Butterfly lyrics

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the actual post link here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Be Like Brit

Hello Everyone, Happy Saturday! I was so deeply touched by Britney's and her college friends tragedy. I am inspired by her and her group although I never knew them. How brave and selfless of them to step outside their comfort zone and venture off to help others in need. I think in honor of all of them we should help to continue the compassion and dream that Britney had. They are making great progress in fulfilling the dream, but more is always needed. In memory of all of them who lost their lives that day I am going to make a donation. I hope you can take the time to do the same. How little that takes out of us, yet means the world to these children. Their deaths will not have been in vain. Think of how beautiful that day will be when they cut the ribbon to open this Orphanage, and how Britney and her friends will be smiling down on everyone who took the time to help, no matter how big or small. I included the link to Donate, and to the Be Like Brit store. You will also find all the information on this site . Thank you if you do help in continuing the compassion.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

Positioning Statement
For the poorest of the poor, Be Like Brit is a nonprofit organization dedicated to serving the children of Haiti. Be Like Brit will continue the compassionate life and legacy of Britney Gengel by establishing a safe, nurturing and sustainable orphanage in an environment where children can grow, learn and thrive.

Britney sent this to her mom, three hours before the earthquake hit
"They love us so much and everyone is so happy, they love what they have and they work so hard to get no where and they are all so appreciative... I want to move here and start an orphange."

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Tough Shit

Hi Everyone, How are ya? I came across this on the internet. I thought it might give you a laugh as it did for me. I couldn't agree more with what the little mouse says!
Have a great day,
Janet :)


Saturday, September 18, 2010

Walking On Sunshine

Hello, Happy Saturday!! Let me tell ya about my grandkids!! C'mon now and be a good sport and don't leave the page LOL!! Briana has just learned this song, I'm not sure how she did, but anyway it is perfect because that is how her and Christopher make me feel every time I see them. My best friend Sue use to say to me there's nothing like it Janet and of course she was right. She was a great Noni so I learned a lot from watching her, although she left too soon she left a lifetime of love inside of them. Briana is going to be 3 yrs old already in 2 weeks!! She always knows what to say to make me smile and laugh. The other day as she walked into my house, I went to greet her and she say's Mimmi, as she puts her arms up to hug me, I missed you, awww huh? She asked Christa the other day about preschool next year, "Mommy, she said will you be going with me"? Christa said no, and then she says "Good"! (maybe I should teach her Miss Independent) She is still getting use to sharing me with Christopher, when I hold him she will start to grab my attention and she actually held her hand up to me, like talk to the hand and said somewhat fresh, That's MY brother! Next time I'm gonna have to say, "And He Ain't Heavy" just to see the expression on her face :) Christopher is just the happiest little baby, same as Bri was, thanks to the great job their parents are doing. When he's not eating or sleeping he'll just sit and smile and talk to everyone. He just started laughing the other day too. He loves Briana so much that even if she just walks by him he smiles, too cute :) This is a great song still today, I think I will add it to my walking music, especially now that the sun is setting earlier and it's getting colder, this song will definitely put a bounce in your step. I've finally dusted off the treadmill. I'll miss walking the waterfronts as much as I do now, but one good thing about the treadmill is when I use to walk on it years ago, I could do up to 5 miles at a time, Seriously! I think once you don't have that big open road ahead of you, you don't think of distance. I just escape in my music and go, and when I'm done I feel so good physically and mentally. I highly recommend you give daily walking a try. Start out even just a little bit and it will become easier and easier, If I can do it you can. In fact I'm lovin walking everyday so much that I know I'm addicted. Finally an addiction I can be proud of, my legs are solid as a rock now too which will come in handy if I have to kick someone's ass that messes with any of my kids LMAO!! In the spring I'm thinking of starting to run with my brother, by then I'll have quit smoking (hopefully) one habit at a time the Doc says :) And who knows maybe someday I'll shoot for the Boston Marathon!! Now stop laughing, You gotta have goals in life right?
Thanks for visiting my blog today
and reading what is probably boring
to you,
Love ya,
Janet :)

My 2010 Version LOL!
And I just cant wait till the day when you visit my space,
my Blog, IM me, or Tweet me. Now everytime I go to my
inbox, gotta check my spam too, Cos I just can't wait
till you Email or poke me on Facebook. Texting and
Messaging,Woooah,Don't it feel good :)

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

Hi Everyone, How are ya, I am doing good. I wanted to share this Update from NAMI with all of you. It is ADHD awareness week. If you recognize these signs in someone you know, you may want to share this information with them. It can be a welcomed relief to get the help needed for Both the Parents and the Child.
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common childhood disorders and can continue through adolescence and adulthood. Symptoms include difficulty staying focused and paying attention, difficulty controlling behavior, and hyperactivity (over-activity).
ADHD has three subtypes:1

* Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive
o Most symptoms (six or more) are in the hyperactivity-impulsivity categories.
o Fewer than six symptoms of inattention are present, although inattention may still be present to some degree.

* Predominantly inattentive
o The majority of symptoms (six or more) are in the inattention category and fewer than six symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity are present, although hyperactivity-impulsivity may still be present to some degree.

o Children with this subtype are less likely to act out or have difficulties getting along with other children. They may sit quietly, but they are not paying attention to what they are doing. Therefore, the child may be overlooked, and parents and teachers may not notice that he or she has ADHD.

* Combined hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive
o Six or more symptoms of inattention and six or more symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity are present.
o Most children have the combined type of ADHD.

Treatments can relieve many of the disorder's symptoms, but there is no cure. With treatment, most people with ADHD can be successful in school and lead productive lives. Researchers are developing more effective treatments and interventions, and using new tools such as brain imaging, to better understand ADHD and to find more effective ways to treat and prevent it.

What are the symptoms of ADHD in children?

Inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity are the key behaviors of ADHD. It is normal for all children to be inattentive, hyperactive, or impulsive sometimes, but for children with ADHD, these behaviors are more severe and occur more often. To be diagnosed with the disorder, a child must have symptoms for 6 or more months and to a degree that is greater than other children of the same age.
Children who have symptoms of inattention may:

* Be easily distracted, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another
* Have difficulty focusing on one thing
* Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless they are doing something enjoyable
* Have difficulty focusing attention on organizing and completing a task or learning something new
* Have trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete tasks or activities
* Not seem to listen when spoken to
* Daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly
* Have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others
* Struggle to follow instructions.

Children who have symptoms of hyperactivity may:

* Fidget and squirm in their seats
* Talk nonstop
* Dash around, touching or playing with anything and everything in sight
* Have trouble sitting still during dinner, school, and story time
* Be constantly in motion
* Have difficulty doing quiet tasks or activities.

Children who have symptoms of impulsivity may:

* Be very impatient
* Blurt out inappropriate comments, show their emotions without restraint, and act without regard for consequences
* Have difficulty waiting for things they want or waiting their turns in games
* Often interrupt conversations or others' activities.

ADHD Can Be Mistaken for Other Problems
Parents and teachers can miss the fact that children with symptoms of inattention have the disorder because they are often quiet and less likely to act out. They may sit quietly, seeming to work, but they are often not paying attention to what they are doing. They may get along well with other children, compared with those with the other subtypes, who tend to have social problems. But children with the inattentive kind of ADHD are not the only ones whose disorders can be missed. For example, adults may think that children with the hyperactive and impulsive subtypes just have emotional or disciplinary problems.

What Causes ADHD?
Scientists are not sure what causes ADHD, although many studies suggest that genes play a large role. Like many other illnesses, ADHD probably results from a combination of factors. In addition to genetics, researchers are looking at possible environmental factors, and are studying how brain injuries, nutrition, and the social environment might contribute to ADHD.

How is ADHD treated?
Currently available treatments focus on reducing the symptoms of ADHD and improving functioning. Treatments include medication, various types of psychotherapy, education or training, or a combination of treatments.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


Hello, how are ya, I went for a walk Saturday night at Rocky Nook, an oceanfront located here in Kingston Ma. Being the anniversary of 9/11 I was reflecting back to how I felt that day and still do every year this anniversary comes around as I walked along the sunset. As I listened to Overcome by live I grieved for all of the people lost on that horrific day. But as I continued on my walk though, I could not help but notice so many houses with the American Flag waving in the wind. New feelings emerged in me, one being of pride for what still remains of the American Spirit. One of inspiration, to overcome even the darkest of days and rise again. These feelings are symbolic to me and where I am at in my life. I have to grieve in a way for my old self and find that sense of pride and inspiration to rise above what mistakes I have made. It's always been easier for me to just beat myself up and never forgive myself. But no, not this time, I have to find that strength to really do the work for personal growth, forgive myself and let the past go. I will work on reaching out for support as we all did that day 9 yrs ago, each time I do I know my spirit will grow a little more beautiful as the sunsets that surround me. Life is Sweet huh, next time you are out and about in your day, take a couple of moments to notice the little things in your world that can really make a big impact on your spirit and personal growth. I'm 100 percent certain you won't go wrong in doing so.
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)





Saturday, September 11, 2010

9/11 Never Forget

Hello, Today I dedicate my blogs to the Memory of 9/11. When I watch these videos it brings me right back to the horror we all felt that day. I was working for Head Start in North Weymouth Ma. We had to evacuate the children that day. It was scary but the other social workers and I did get them all home. My own Children were not excused early from school, which I could not understand, because I all I wanted to do was rush home to them, feeling like it was the beginning of the end to me, I needed to be with them. I was lucky enough to be in Weymouth though, so that day I could check on my mother who still lived in my childhood home in So.Weymouth with my brother. As I drove there I remember a plane coming in to land at Logan Airport and it made me jump in my car with fear. When I got there, she had shut off the TV and she was shaken, so in a way it was a good thing my kids were still in school so I could just sit with her and she did not have to be alone all day. A few years ago I learned in a fire safety training, by the trainer who was best friends with John Ogonowski brother too, the local man who was the Pilot of Flight 11, that although we lost 2998 people that day, the heroes of that day saved, in the Twin Towers alone, about 300,000 people. An amazing thing to think about when they were never faced with such a unimaginable event. Feel free to leave your memories or feelings of this day in a comment.
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Love you,
Janet :)

Graphic Content

Had to add this song & video, truly
expresses how we all felt that day
especially the rescue workers!!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

World Suicide Prevention Day

Hello Everyone, How are ya, Good I hope. I came across this information today on Facebook. I felt the need to get this information out today so that you can share it with others, through Facebook, your blogs if you have one, word of mouth or any way possible. This is a critical movement that will be happening tomorrow. Through awareness we can prevent Suicide and save precious lives. Personally I have been affected by Suicide, as those of you who follow my blog know, but my family and I were so blessed that my mother survived what I now know to be two attempts. If she had not been saved my siblings and I would have never had seen the transformation of her with the new treatment she received years later. By the Grace of God we went on to have twenty years of beautiful family memories. So please join me and 12,413 others so far, in attending the online movement if you can on Facebook beginning tomorrow 12:00am and continuing until 11:30pm. I have included the important links for the event and further information. For one day, by taking taking 5 to save lives, you possibly could give a family like mine many more years of cherished memories. How empowering is that! Thank you for visiting my blog, Love ya, Janet :)

warning signs for suicide
Call 9-1-1 or seek immediate help from a mental health provider when you hear, or see any of these behaviors:
* Someone threatening to hurt or kill him/herself, or talking of wanting to hurt or kill him/herself
* Someone looking for ways to kill him/herself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means
* Someone talking or writing about death, dying or suicide, when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person
* Hopelessness
* Rage, uncontrolled anger, seeking revenge
* Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking
* Feeling trapped - like there's no way out
* Increased alcohol or drug use
* Withdrawing from friends, family and society
* Anxiety, agitation, unable to sleep or sleeping all the time
* Dramatic mood changes

The Lifeline Network answers thousands of calls from people in emotional distress. There are many reasons for their calls. Please call with for any of the following reasons:
* Suicidal thoughts
* Information on suicide
* Information on mental health/illness
* Substance abuse/addiction
* To help a friend or loved one
* Relationship problems
* Abuse/violence
* Economic problems
* Sexual orientation issues
* Physical illness
* Loneliness
* Family problems
Who should call?
* Anyone who feels sad, hopeless, or suicidal.
* Family and friends who are concerned about a loved one.
* Anyone interested in mental health treatment and service referrals.
Who and where am I calling?
* When you dial 1-800-273-TALK, you are calling the crisis center in the Lifeline network closest to your location. To find out what center is closest to you search the Crisis Center Locator.
* Lifeline’s service is free and confidential.
* The hotline is staffed by trained counselors.
* We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
* We have information about mental health services in your area that can help you.
What will happen when I call?
* You will hear a message saying you have reached the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
* You will hear hold music while your call is being routed.
* You will be helped by a trained crisis worker.
* You will be given mental health services referrals if needed.
This list of Warning Signs for Suicide was developed by an expert review and consensus process informed by a review of relevant research and literature. Additional information about the warning signs can be found in the following published article: Rudd, M. D., Berman, A. L., Joiner, T. E., Jr., Nock, M. K., Silverman, M. M., Mandrusiak, M., et al. (2006). Warning signs for suicide: Theory, research, and clinical applications. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 36(3), 255-262.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

FU Very Much

Hi Everyone, How are ya, I am doing great!! Sometimes an important part of mental health is telling people just how you feel about them, ya know, getting it off your chest! This song is for all of us for many reasons, one being for all of us who have had friends or family who turn into your judge and jury in your life. Held you to a higher standard that they themselves have no moral ground to stand on. I mean, like in my case, I had this couple that were friends, and when I first met them, he was cheating and she was the "other women", yet when I fell from Grace, they were just so above me, (denial and about 30yrs of alcohol and drug abuse will do that to assholes like them, trust me, I know) I'm sure you've all had people like that in your life. This is mainly a song for homophobes, I read she wrote it for George Bush, not sure if that is right, but I think it pertains to all assholes in our daily lives as well, don't you? Put it on your cell phone and the next time you find yourself really pissed off for ex, like when a person gets in the 10 or less items line with 15 items, and you only have two items, and they don't let you go ahead of them, hit play. When they notice, just simply act surprised and be like Oops, well my counselor recommended that I listen to this song for therapeutic reasons LMAO!! Or when you go into your bank after they have charged you $35 dollars per transaction for being 2 cents short in your account!! Or even better yet when your like me and now are dependant on the bus system to get around, play it for the bus drivers you eventually catch up with, who you have waved at like crazy to stop and pick you up and they just drove by you like they were in a coma!! Swear to God! It made me LMAO when I first listened to it, hope it does that for you too.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Beauty In The Still

Hi Everyone, Hope your doing well this weekend. Tonight I was feeling sad for relationships and friendships lost. And as I am sitting here, Hurricane Earl is passing by. I love to write and get deep as the sounds of the storm surrounds me. It helps me to get in touch with my feelings, which is something I need to do, something I haven't really done in a long time. I'd feel pain, but only to a certain point. I haven't really had a cry yet for my Mom and Dad. Although I feel I have cried a thousand tears already. I was watching a tape of Bri at Christa's house a few weeks ago of when she was a baby and we came across a part on the tape of my Mom meeting her first great granddaughter for the first time. I just kinda went into numb mode and Christa asked if I was ready to watch it, I was not, someday I will when the time is right, I am happy for the meantime knowing we have it on video tape. How she smiled and how she cried in joy, precious memories. I truly believe people are with you now that are suppose to be, if they did not make to our future, that was part of the plan along our journey in life. Saying that does not stop the hurt, but it is what it is and loss comes in many different ways, we need to grieve all of our losses in order to let the hurt go. Each time we do, we grow closer to true happiness.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


wind whips
darkness fall
rain drips
sound hallow
rewind life
in minds

Self examination
Hurts deep,
words spoke
to me
No Angel I am
didn't deserve to
be dammed

If your heart
could feel
Love inside
me real
If your soul
could see
faults not all

If your eyes
could view
my soul
pieces a few
would you
or Love

never seek
be meek
Judge yourself
above all else
Find you will
in the still

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Eye Of The Soul

Hi, I came across this Beautiful poem today. Remember these words when you find yourself standing in Judgment of another soul. We all have human flaws of character, one is not worse than the other, they are all simply flaws.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


The Eye of Soul
(Abridged Edition)

I judge you not by what you wear,
Whether your garment is of rag or riches,
Or your skin is of a color white or black,
Whether you wear some gold or trinkets,
Or decorate yourself with stones and diamonds,
I see you with the eye of Soul.

I know you, for who you are inside of you,
Not for your smiles, for smiles could be false,
Not for your looks, for looks could deceive,
Not for your appearance, for that won’t last,
And not for your clothes, for that only covers.
I see you with the eye of Soul.

I am a friend to that you, inside of you,
Indifferent to your dose of limitations,
Forgiving to your human flaws of character
Unyielding to rumors and gossips about you
For the eye within sees even more,
I see you with the eye of Soul.

Oliver O. Mbamara