Saturday, September 4, 2010

Beauty In The Still

Hi Everyone, Hope your doing well this weekend. Tonight I was feeling sad for relationships and friendships lost. And as I am sitting here, Hurricane Earl is passing by. I love to write and get deep as the sounds of the storm surrounds me. It helps me to get in touch with my feelings, which is something I need to do, something I haven't really done in a long time. I'd feel pain, but only to a certain point. I haven't really had a cry yet for my Mom and Dad. Although I feel I have cried a thousand tears already. I was watching a tape of Bri at Christa's house a few weeks ago of when she was a baby and we came across a part on the tape of my Mom meeting her first great granddaughter for the first time. I just kinda went into numb mode and Christa asked if I was ready to watch it, I was not, someday I will when the time is right, I am happy for the meantime knowing we have it on video tape. How she smiled and how she cried in joy, precious memories. I truly believe people are with you now that are suppose to be, if they did not make to our future, that was part of the plan along our journey in life. Saying that does not stop the hurt, but it is what it is and loss comes in many different ways, we need to grieve all of our losses in order to let the hurt go. Each time we do, we grow closer to true happiness.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


wind whips
darkness fall
rain drips
sound hallow
rewind life
in minds

Self examination
Hurts deep,
words spoke
to me
No Angel I am
didn't deserve to
be dammed

If your heart
could feel
Love inside
me real
If your soul
could see
faults not all

If your eyes
could view
my soul
pieces a few
would you
or Love

never seek
be meek
Judge yourself
above all else
Find you will
in the still


  1. Oh the pain of loosing a loved one. I did have that initial hard cry in the afterweeks, however now I seem to not be able to cry at all over anything. Yes I also have that numb feeling. Wanted to just go somewhere and forget that moment, Just to live in the moment of perfect life. I truly miss MOM and wish DAD would move here in my home. So I can take care of him, the way he should be according to MOM's last wishes.
    Well I'm off again to a destination to get lost in life and free myself from sad thoughts. turn to happy thoughts, make new memories and to continue on living in the Now.

  2. Hi Auntie E, It is so nice to hear from someone who truly understands, you made my day. I find myself doing the same thing as you to get past those numb & sad feelings, I too just try to stay focused on the here and now, my favorite way is to escape in my music and walk. Dads can be sooo stubborn!! I wish you the best of luck with getting him to live with you :)
    Have a Great Day,
    Thanks Again,
    Janet :)