Saturday, February 26, 2011

Forgive Them Anyway

Hello Everyone, I absolutely love this saying!! It has been proven true to me time and time again as I go through life. I am sure it has to you, whether or not your even aware of it. I have seen, most of all in my life's experiences, of these character defects, Jealousy, especially in certain women that were once friends, sad really! But in the end, all I can do is just let it go and keep on as Mother Theresa suggests in this poem, because they are the one's who chose to live in that place, the ones who will never know true happiness for themselves or others. This is I feel, the best way to live your life, knowing your motives are pure.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Dealing With Denial

Hello, How are you, I thought I should post about this now that I have come out this for myself. I know it is easier for some people to survive living like this, but the quality of life improves so much when you chose to live in the truth. I hope this may help you or a loved one that you are concerned about. I included the link below which has even more information on this subject.
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


What is denial?
* Being unwilling to face problems on either a conscious or subconscious level.
* Acting as if there are no problems to face.
* A defensive response; protection from pain, hurt or suffering.
* A mask to hide feelings or emotions behind.
* A way to avoid conflict, disagreements or disapproval from others.
* A way to avoid facing the negative consequences of reality.
* A way of retaining our sanity when experiencing unbearable pain.
* A way to repress the truth of our loss, a way to continue to function "normally."
* A pattern of life for individuals who are compulsively driven to "look good."
* A way to avoid the risk of change as a result of problems or loss.

How does denial look to others?

Persons in denial:
* Appear to be irrational to those who know the problems and losses they have suffered.
* Appear to be calm and relaxed to those who do not know the problems and losses they have suffered.
* Are a cause of frustration to those who want them to confront the truth of the problem or loss honestly.
* Appear to be unemotional, apathetic or indifferent in the face of loss.
* Are considered pathetic and pitiable by those who have tried to confront them with the denial and have failed.
* Appear to be caught up in magical thinking about the loss involved.
* Appear to be excessively involved in fantasy thinking about the loss or problem.
* Appear to be childlike, very dependent on others to nurture them and reassure them that everything will be all right.
* Appear to be running away from the truth concerning their problems or loss.
* Appear to be avoiding or rejecting those who are intent on confronting them with their problems.

What are the negative consequences of unresolved denial?

Unresolved denial can result in:
* Delusional thinking, leading to a feeling that everything is OK, even when it is not.
* Greater conflict between the deniers and the non-deniers.
* Fantasy or magical thinking, allowing distorted thinking to become a habit.
* Poor problem-solving and decision-making abilities for the denier.
* The denier totally avoiding or withdrawing from everyone who knows of the loss or problem.
* The denier becoming a social recluse.
* Others avoiding the denier to avoid upsetting him with their concern, questions or reassurance.
* Frustration for those who want to help the denier.
* A maladaptive pattern of coping with the loss or problem for the denier.
* Everyone involved in the life of the denier joining the denial; the problem is not confronted honestly by those who can do something about it.
* Resentment by the denier of those who are confronting him about the problems or loss.
* Prolonging the time before the denier must confront the pain, hurt and suffering involved in the loss or problem.
* The denier projecting the problem or the results of the loss onto others.
* The denier's use of rationalization to explain away the problem or loss.
* Exacerbation of the very problems being denied.

Read more:

Sunday, February 20, 2011

8 Ways to Forgive and Forget

Hello Everyone, I hope your having a great weekend. Today I was on looking for a spiritual book she had recommended on her show, when I came across this article. I work on this just about everyday, I still have to let go of some resentment, pain from the past, hurt, you know all that good stuff!! I am sure you all know and have this to some degree as well in your life, be it in a big or small way. I am doing much better each day of letting things go, I want to be better this year in every aspect of my life, physically, mentally and spiritually. I think her suggestions are a great tool to follow. I hope these help you to forgive and forget, simply let go of resentments if you need it too.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

Letting go of anger and bitterness can work wonders for both your attitude and your health, not to mention your relationships. Karen Salmansohn offers you eight ways to start forgiving and forgetting.

A wise woman and her young disciple were walking down the street. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an angry man in a carriage drove haphazardly by the two, insensitively pushing the woman out of his way. She landed in a ditch filled with muddy water. The woman yelled after the man in the carriage, "May you have everything you want!" The disciple, surprised by the wise woman's response, said: "I'm confused. Why did you say that to a man with such horrible behavior?" The woman replied, "Because a happy man wouldn't have thoughtlessly pushed a woman into a ditch."

Do you agree with this woman's response? In my book The Bounce Back Book, I offer empowering strategies for embracing forgiveness and liberating yourself from anger and bitterness—even in the most challenging situations.


Here are eight strategies to free you from your resentments starting today!

Say a Prayer
Whenever angry feelings about a person who's harmed you enter your mind, tell yourself: "We are all good, loving souls who occasionally get lost." Pray for this person to find their way back to a happier place—in the same way the woman in this story prayed for her offender.

Focus on Gratitude
Resist seeking happiness from the outside in. Instead, focus on gratitude exercises to bring happiness from the inside out. If you allow your self-image to be at the mercy of unpredictable events and unreliable people, your happiness will be forever on a chaotic roller coaster ride! Happiness must always be an inside joy! When you are tempted to focus on all the ways the world has done you wrong, instead count your blessings by making a list of the five aspects of your life that you appreciate. It is good practice to purposefully end your day this way to keep focused.

Look for the Lesson
Many Buddhists consider huge difficulties to be a sign you're an old soul—the bigger your misfortunes, the closer you are to enlightenment. Whether you believe this or not, it's certainly cheery to reframe all your life's bad events as tests of your character. If you feel particularly tested right now, ask yourself what the heck you're being tested for! Patience? Compassion? Resilience? Forgiveness? Open-mindedness? What strengths must you develop further? Now consciously go out there and develop them!

Maintain Perspective
If you're going through a challenging time, remind yourself that this specific event is merely a part of your life—not your "whole" life. Consciously keep this "slice of life" perspective, and don't let the event overwhelm you. As the song goes, "The best is yet to come!"

Learn the Lesson
Develop a "student not victim" mentality. Vow not only to disentangle yourself from emotionally harmful situations, but also to consciously avoid similar situations in the future.

Let Go of Resentment
Keep in mind a fabulous Carrie Fisher quote: "Resentment is the poison you swallow hoping the other person will die." Recognize that when you resent someone, you are not only hurting yourself, you're also giving this person control of your emotions—and you don't want to give this person bubkes!

Stay Centered
Recognize that when you respond with hate to hate, anger to anger, bitterness to bitterness, you are ironically becoming part of the problem. Choose to resist becoming like them and instead put in the conscious effort to remain a loving, soulful, happy person.

Get Revenge Positively
Contemplating revenge? The best kind of revenge is living a successful, happy life. If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your energy will attract more positive people and positive results. As Albert Einstein said, "You can't solve a problem by staying in the same energy in which it was created." To stay focused on highly positive thoughts, repeat this meditation ritual throughout the day: "Love, forgiveness, letting go, peace."
By Karen Salmansohn

Thursday, February 17, 2011

I Promise Myself

Hello, How are you today, Good I hope. I am going to try my best to live by this promise to myself starting today! It can only lead to better in our lives for ourselves and those around us if we all practice this, even a little bit :)
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


I promise myself...

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthsiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

-- Christian D. Larson
(Modified by The Secret 2007)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Forgiveness Is The Attribute

Hi Everyone, I hope you had a good day, before I hit the hay tonight I wanted to share some inspirational quotes by Mohandas Gandhi
Thank you for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

The weak can never forgive, Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.

Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you,
then you win.

Glory lies in the attempt to reach one's goal and not in reaching it.

In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart.

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty; it is its own reward. Everything else is in God's hands.

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Mental Illness: What A Difference A Friend Makes

Hello Everyone, I hope your doing good today. I came across this support page on NIMH and I think it is a great resource for everyone who lives with a mental illness or has a loved one who is living with a mental illness. The website offers not only a support forum where you can chat with others, but a section to listen, and to learn. I am really glad to see that they have a section devoted to breaking the myths on mental illness. The best part of this site is all the hope and inspiration you will find there. So please visit and share this with someone you know who may need it. They may be suffering from loneliness in silence, and no matter what they have done, or who they are, or how they act or have acted, remember basic humanity 101 my friends, everyone needs and deserves to have a friend :)
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)

Mental Illness: What A Difference A Friend Makes -Learn

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Life Is Good

Hi Everyone, I am flattered to receive this award from Pink at
Life is good for me and I truly appreciate the recognition.

Rules are: Thank the person giving the award. Then pass it on to another blogger and answer the following questions.

Thank you so much Pink, this is so thoughtful and just what I needed. You didn't just give me an award, you gave me the inspiration to keep on doing what I have been doing on here and DDD. Your timing could not have been better because lately I have been wondering if I have much more to offer on my blogs, but I'll take this as a sign that I do and continue on I will, so Thank you, Thank you :)

If you blog anonymously, are you happy about doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you had started out anonymously so you could be anonymous now?
I don't blog anonymously, no I don't wish I started out that way, I'm pretty much an open book!

Describe the incident that shows your stubborn side.
When I went away in November for two weeks I could not smoke. I had been wanting to quit too, but when I got out I started again just because they were forcing me to stop. Now that I have been home I am quitting on my own, I have gone two weeks now without smoking, all because I did it my way, when I wanted to, no one tells me what and when to do something, sounds stubborn don't you think??

What do you see when you really look into the mirror?
A girl who had started life out under some tough circumstances, and made more mistakes than she cares to remember. But in the long run she has learned from them and grown stronger with each lesson. So now I am able to see a beautiful woman who is doing the best she can.

When you attended school, were you the class clown, the overachiever, the shy person or always ditching?
I was a class clown who ditched when she could

If you closed your eyes and wanted to visualize a very poignant point in your life, what would you see?
The Birth of my Children

What is your favorite cold summer drink?
Anything Iced from Starbucks

Is there something you still want to accomplish in your life?
I am going back to school this year for my Master's Degree in Gerontology

When you take time for yourself, what do you?
I like to blog, or walk on my treadmill and escape
in my music :)

Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog or are you more comfortable writing plots about other people and events?
I prefer to write about myself and my life experiences in hopes that I may connect with others. Maybe one day I will be writing about what someone else has been through or something that someone needed to hear and that brings me much happiness.

If you had a choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone which would you do and why?
I probably talk on the phone, I am not much of a reader, I just like to write :)

I thank all of you for reading my answers to these questions. I will now pass on this award to....
I wish I could give this to everyone, but I was suppose to chose only one I think, but I could not decide between these two, so for you
Bing at and Kimmy at your blogs inspire me every time I visit them and Thank you for your friendships that give me unconditional love and support,always, Love ya's :)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Seasonal Affective Disorder

Hello Everyone, Hope your doing well. I thought with all the snow storms across the country this year this would be a good topic to post about. Living here on the East Coast this winter, I definitely have to fight the blues. With no job and being stuck in this house day after day, snow storm after snow storm, it can be a challenge some days to stay upbeat, but I do. Walking is what works the best for me right now, so I highly recommend it. So if someone you know seems a little out of sorts, or you yourself are, you may recognize it as S.A.D, which can be easy to work through with some of the suggestions below.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Love ya,
Janet :)


The Winter Blues
Winter depression (or winter blues) is a common affliction for those who live in our northern climate. Its clinical name is seasonal affective disorder (or SAD) and up to 5% of the population (especially in northern states) may suffer from it. Seasonal affective disorder is characterized by feelings of sadness and depression that occur in the winter months when the temperatures drop and the days grow short. The depression is often associated with excessive eating or sleeping and weight gain and has occurred for both the past 2 years. Women are twice to three times more likely to suffer from the winter blues than men.

There are many effective treatments for winter depression, some of which you can do to help yourself. Increasing your daily exposure to as much natural light as possible can be helpful to many. Any time that you have the opportunity to gain access to more sunlight in the winter months, you should try to do so. Taking a walk throughout the day (even if you don't normally do so), sitting next to a south-facing window at your office, in a classroom, or at home will increase your sunlight exposure. Exercising next to a window or outdoors (when possible) is another activity that can help.

Although it may be difficult to do, maintaining your schedule and lifestyle will help to keep the depression at bay. A regular pattern of sleep is the most important thing to maintain. It may be helpful, for instance, to have your bedroom lights on a timer to turn on a half-hour before you wake. This may help in waking at a regular time every morning, when it is still dark outside in the winter months.

Light therapy has shown to be an effective treatment for seasonal affective disorder. While you can purchase expensive, specialized light therapy lighting fixtures for your home or office, some inexpensive alternatives are also available. Another lighting technique to try is to replace commonly used light bulbs in your home with brighter full spectrum (also known as broad spectrum) light bulbs. While more expensive than regular light bulbs, these bulbs provide light that is similar to natural sunlight.

If none of these techniques seem to help your depressive symptoms, you should consider consulting your family physician or a mental health professional. The winter blues are a form of depression and can be readily treated with medications or psychotherapy when other self-help methods aren't effective. Don't be afraid to talk about this condition with a professional, it's nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. With a little effort, the winter blues can be beaten.
John M. Grohol, Psy.D.