Thursday, June 30, 2011


Hello Everyone, I hope your doing well today. This is my favorite blessing. I wish it for all of you, each and every day of your life!
Thanks for visiting,
Janet :)


Monday, June 27, 2011

Stand Up Again!

Hello, Happy Music Monday! Here is the first track from Lenny Kravitz new album Black And White America, due to be released in August. It is a great up beat song, in my opinion, of how we have to keep getting up when life knocks us down. Enjoy and have a great day!

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava's Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes!

Hello, I got these Dear God letters from children in an email. I thought they were so funny and cute. I had to share them with you, it's so true when they say out of the mouths of babes!
Have a great day,
Janet :)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Sunday Funnies

Hello Everyone, Happy Fathers Day to all of you Dad's out there. I thought I would share some funny perspectives on this day :) Have a great day!
Thanks for visiting,
Janet :)





Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Remember This

Hello Everyone, I hope your doing well, when you feel less then because others have put you down, either to your face or behind your back, remember this!
Thanks for visiting,
Janet :)

Source: None via Dorothy on Pinterest

Thursday, June 9, 2011


Hello Everyone, I hope your doing well. This is a very prevalent issue in addiction. It is the big Elephant in the room for dysfunctional relationships. I have been a co depenant myself. It was in my twenties that I learned this about myself. I did a six week Adult Children of Alcoholics group and it helped give me the tools to change my behavior. I highly recommend Al Anon and Adult Children meetings if you find yourself to be one too. I will follow up with more information on how to heal yourself from this dysfunction. Once you change, you will be on your way to having healthy relationships in your life. One of the most important issues, I personally feel, is to break the cycle, be it for your children, or just simply for yourself.
Thank you for visiting,
Janet :)

Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. The disorder was first identified about ten years ago as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Co-dependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.

Who Does Co-dependency Affect?

Co-dependency often affects a spouse, a parent, sibling, friend, or co-worker of a person afflicted with alcohol or drug dependence. Originally, co-dependent was a term used to describe partners in chemical dependency, persons living with, or in a relationship with an addicted person. Similar patterns have been seen in people in relationships with chronically or mentally ill individuals. Today, however, the term has broadened to describe any co-dependent person from any dysfunctional family.

What is a Dysfunctional Family and How Does it Lead to Co-dependency?

A dysfunctional family is one in which members suffer from fear, anger, pain, or shame that is ignored or denied. Underlying problems may include any of the following:

* An addiction by a family member to drugs, alcohol, relationships, work, food, sex, or gambling.
* The existence of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.
* The presence of a family member suffering from a chronic mental or physical illness.

Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist. They don’t talk about them or confront them. As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs. They become “survivors.” They develop behaviors that help them deny, ignore, or avoid difficult emotions. They detach themselves. They don’t talk. They don’t touch. They don’t confront. They don’t feel. They don’t trust. The identity and emotional development of the members of a dysfunctional family are often inhibited

Attention and energy focus on the family member who is ill or addicted. The co-dependent person typically sacrifices his or her needs to take care of a person who is sick. When co-dependents place other people’s health, welfare and safety before their own, they can lose contact with their own needs, desires, and sense of self.

How Do Co-dependent People Behave?

Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They find it hard to “be themselves.” Some try to feel better through alcohol, drugs or nicotine - and become addicted. Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity.

They have good intentions. They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior.

The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and to become even more dependent on the unhealthy caretaking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the co-dependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” When the caretaking becomes compulsive, the co-dependent feels choiceless and helpless in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it. Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in the love and friendship relationships.

Characteristics of Co-dependent People Are:

* An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others
* A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue
* A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time
* A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts
* An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment
* An extreme need for approval and recognition
* A sense of guilt when asserting themselves
* A compelling need to control others
* Lack of trust in self and/or others
* Fear of being abandoned or alone
* Difficulty identifying feelings
* Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change
* Problems with intimacy/boundaries
* Chronic anger
* Lying/dishonesty
* Poor communications
* Difficulty making decisions

Questionnaire To Identify Signs Of Co-dependency

This condition appears to run in different degrees, whereby the intensity of symptoms are on a spectrum of severity, as opposed to an all or nothing scale. Please note that only a qualified professional can make a diagnosis of co-dependency; not everyone experiencing these symptoms suffers from co-dependency.

1. Do you keep quiet to avoid arguments?
2. Are you always worried about others’ opinions of you?
3. Have you ever lived with someone with an alcohol or drug problem?
4. Have you ever lived with someone who hits or belittles you?
5. Are the opinions of others more important than your own?
6. Do you have difficulty adjusting to changes at work or home?
7. Do you feel rejected when significant others spend time with friends?
8. Do you doubt your ability to be who you want to be?
9. Are you uncomfortable expressing your true feelings to others?
10. Have you ever felt inadequate?
11. Do you feel like a “bad person” when you make a mistake?
12. Do you have difficulty taking compliments or gifts?
13. Do you feel humiliation when your child or spouse makes a mistake?
14. Do you think people in your life would go downhill without your constant efforts?
15. Do you frequently wish someone could help you get things done?
16. Do you have difficulty talking to people in authority, such as the police or your boss?
17. Are you confused about who you are or where you are going with your life?
18. Do you have trouble saying “no” when asked for help?
19. Do you have trouble asking for help?
20. Do you have so many things going at once that you can’t do justice to any of them?

If you identify with several of these symptoms; are dissatisfied with yourself or your relationships; you should consider seeking professional help. Arrange for a diagnostic evaluation with a licensed physician or psychologist experienced in treating co-dependency.

Sunday, June 5, 2011


Hello Everyone, I hope your doing well, I am doing good. I wanted to share some words of inspiration with you today.
Thanks for visiting my blog,
Janet :)