Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Finding Your New Normal

Hello, I hope your all doing well this Holiday week. As the holiday's are approaching this year I wanted to write about what many people are going through at this time of year. As we all know, depression rises throughout the holidays. The main reason people experience some depression at the Holidays is probably because they are experiencing the pain of a lost loved one, be it through death or a broken relationship. The first time I felt any type of depression at the Holiday's was when my Father passed away in 1987. I didn't realize it back then, but through those feelings of depression at the holiday, I was learning to live with what they call a "New Normal". And once again, my normal was shifted three years ago when my mother passed away and my siblings and I began to grow apart. My sister and I are still pretty close, but I also have four brothers that I may only see once a year now. And although I'm grown and have a family of my own, the changes in my sibling relationships have been painful, never mind the pain of losing my Parents. So IMO losing these first loves, as I call them, will have a deep impact on your life. They are your foundation in life, your roots as they say. So through my own experiences,I have learned that life can throw losses at you on many different levels, with many different people. You can constantly be forced to live in a new normal,(or as normal as life can get!) forced to let go of what you don't want to. Say goodbye to people you really love and care about. So I thought I would share with you some of ways that have helped me to transition to my life's changing normal, especially during the holiday season, to hopefully help any of you who may be experiencing the same.
Thanks for visiting,
Janet :)

1) Acknowledge all types of loss

2) Allow yourself to feel the loss, cry if you need
to, simply get it out, it will help you to heal and
move on

3) Allow yourself to go through the stages of
grief when it comes to a death. Don't let anyone
tell you you need to get over it already. We
all grieve in our way and in our own time

4) If you are having problems getting over the
loss of a relationship, it could stem from allowing
that relationship to have power over you. Realize
no one is worth having any power over you

5) Learn that those lost relationships
are not all your fault. Some of the people
we allow to hurt us have their own issues,
and it is really not about us

6) If your left with anger from any relationship,
it can turn into depression. One way to get rid
of that anger is write it out in a letter or a
journal. If it is in a letter, wait before sending
it out to that person to see if the situation changes

7) Exercise to release depression and anger,
even if it is just a short walk each day

8) Keep your focus on the good relationships in your life

9) Cherish the good memories of your loved ones that
have passed on. The happy times that I chose to remember
help keep my love for them alive and ease the pain of
their loss

10) Talk it out with others, find support where you can!



  1. I thank God every day that my new "normal" is happy. There were many holidays that I spent home alone and just wanted the day to pass quickly. Being in a room full of people was more lonely than alone . . .

    Thanks for reminding me what I am most thankful for today! Happy Thanksgiving Janet :)

  2. Thank you Gina for sharing your experiences with me. That must of been a tough time in your life. I'm glad to know that your in a happy place now with your husband "The Captain!" Happy Thanksgiving to you too Gina :)